Target Attack

I stole a lot of things today. Yes, you heard me. I stole. It's not something I'm proud of, nor wish to continue doing...at least for the next few days. It's become, unfortunately, a habit. I am too cheap and my eyes are too open.

Today's victim was Target. To list the items I stole would both bore you and make this post too long. The main reason I went to Target was to buy batteries and hand soap, but of course I left with neither. Instead I now have an array of T-shirts, makeup, sports bras, bathings suits, and a pair of shoes.

The bathing suit part was the most unfortunate, as usual. I am extremely self conscious about my current body - scratch that - I have always been extremely self conscious of my body. Well not always, I mean I don't even think I knew what I looked like until I was 7...? But anyway, the shoes that I bought are awesome (I've been wearing them this whole time).

Goals for end of year: Look better in a bathing suit, stop stealing.

The End of E

Oh man. There is so much to tell. How do I cut this story short?

So E and I met for dinner, but of course dinner ended up into a night cap of sorts. For most of the night he was acting very lovey dovey; holding my hand, wrapping his arms around my waist, etc. etc. We get back to his place, we start pounding. Then he literally just starts poking me...in the um brown starfish if you will. I have never done this before and was quite surprised, although not completely turned off. We kept at it.

He actually didn't finish, even though we were going at it for a while, so I climbed on top. We were both heavily enjoying ourselves and his phone rings. He gets up in the middle of our deed, answers the phone, and tells me his friend came to visit him and is outside his place right now. So he throws me my clothes and leaves the room.

Finally, when I muster up the strength to face him and his friend, I say that I need to go. E walks me outside and gives me a huge kiss goodnight.

Now let's just face it, this man is absolutely crazy...I will/do not stand for feeling used. All communication with him will therefore stop immediately.

Dinner with E

Going to see E today. It's probably the most I have seen him in a week. E is a strange one...

I met E a few months ago at a bar. We made out, exchanged numbers, and since then he would only contact me maybe like once a week. It was pretty clear to me that he wasn't interested in a relationship, but I kept it going because I thought he could at least be a regular sac.

This past Wednesday we hooked up, and it was awkward. The sex wasn't good, we tried going in the shower, but it was a fail. So, in my head, it was over. I mean, you can't be fuck buddies with someone if the sex is bad!! But he has been calling me ever since.

Now I know I shouldn't get myself involved with someone like him. But I just can't help but enjoy the feeling of being wanted. So we are off to dinner tonight...shall update you tomorrow.

It's A Start

Just over a year ago me and A broke up. We first "met" in kindergarden; not that I remember this, but he seemed to. We went to school together; I hated his guts in middle school because he was an egotistical, short, prick. And for some crazy reason (we'll share that story for later) I decided to confide in him. We became extremely close. I was obsessed with him over the course of high school and everyone around us had considered us to be husband and wife, but we didn't actually get together until after we graduated.

I could share anything with A. I was so comfortable around him, there was nothing that I could/needed to hide from him. Well, long story short, we ended up going to different colleges. The semi-long distance thing didn't work out, and we grew apart over the course of 3 and a half years. So why am I talking about it now? Yeah, I'll admit it, im not completely over the relationship. It's not so much A that I miss, its just the idea of being completely open with someone, not being afraid of how they will judge me.

So maybe that's why I am starting this blog. This blog is my new A. Sad it isn't a real person...